Posts have been few and far between this month. I haven’t felt able to write anything, through lack of energy from long, draining days and an inability to articulate how I’m really feeling. To some extent, there have been times when I’ve thought about writing something but have hesitated because my thoughts are actually too awful to put into words. I’ve tried to be honest, but the reality is that there is a lot more going on than is presented here. Parts of this story aren’t always only mine to share and other times, when the awful is really awful, I don’t have the energy to capture it.
Poppy bounced back from her course of steroids last Friday and woke up full of energy, so it was a good opportunity for us all to get out of the house for a wander around the trees at Westonbirt Arboretum. Not quite the calming experience it usually is, as Graham forgot his annual pass and we were greeted by an unforgiving member of the welcome team. I know we slipped up by forgetting the pass, but I’d like to see a little bit of trust involved and a back up plan for when genuine people make mistakes. It was a frosty start, which we managed to shake off without causing a scene. I came very close to mentioning that it was Poppy’s first proper day with her family after spending 3/7 days in the hospital and the rest lying on the sofa crushed by the muscle wasting effects of steroids, but there are some days when we just don’t want to get into the whole thing and it’s better dealt with by a shrug of the shoulders and a roll of the eyes between ourselves.
I don’t quite know where to start today…it’s been a while since I sat down to write, so I’ll start typing and see where we end up! The first week of Delayed Intensification has gone better than expected. By which I mean that my expectations of this phase of treatment were so low that anything above that was set to be a bonus.